Last week I spoke to you my close friend Dave that was going through a traumatic time in his life. Suddenly he was getting barraged with tragedy after tragedy, until finally he became overwhelmed and lashed at God for allowing his life to spiral.

He also asked questions that are just as pertinent for anyone that is going through a difficult life tragedy.

My friend asked us what he was supposed to do, during this tragedy. Using the book of Job as our guide we came to the conclusion that my friend or anyone going through a crisis had no choice but to continue to trust God. That trust was based on our relationship with God with remembrance of his

• Past Support through life trials
• His underlying love for us and desire for us to prosper
• His heart that always wants the best for us, who always sees the best in us

It’s because of these things that we can place our confidence in God that He would remain faithful in spite of the tragedy we were facing.

Today I want to talk about not what the person going through the tragedy should do but what his friends and loved ones around him should do.

Too many times we forget the right things to do or say when someone comes to us for support in a time of crisis. In trying to help get the person on track, we inadvertently make matters worse as we attach our feelings and opinions on the matter rather than empathizing with what the person is going through. We constantly talk about how we would do things failing to realize that, “We” are not in the storm!

Today I am going to give you, “Keys for Comfort” for helping someone in a life crisis.

If we return to the story of Job; we can get clear direction on how to support someone when they are in a tragedy.

We see that job had just lost his land, his home, his servants, and his children, as well as becoming sick with boils when he is visited by three of his closest friends; Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.



Chapter 2
11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place--Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. 12 And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. 13 So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.
So, job three friends go to visit him and from a distance

The bible says that when his friends heard about all of Jobs adversity, they had to come see him. This isn’t typically the way it happens is it, we “hear” of the plight of a friend or family member but we rarely take the initiative to see how they are doing. We are hesitant because;

We don’t know how to help depressed people
We have to step outside our comfort zone and help
We may have to give someone something other than our time
We wait for the person to call or reach out to us first

What do you think Job was saying I bet he was saying, “Where are all my friends, the people that were with me when things were going well?” Isn’t this what you would have said, “When they need me, when they needed a loan, I was there, now I can’t find them”


Key for Comfort #1- take the initiative, call or go see someone!

Then the friends did the most important thing someone can do, they prayed for him!

In biblical times, tearing of ones robe and throwing ashes upon themselves was a sign of intense grief. They were crying out to God in disbelieve of what they saw. This could not have been the Job they knew!

When was the last time you interceded for someone, travailed for them, cried out to God for them?

Key for Comfort #2-Pray for them!


Then they gave Job what he physically needed the most, not money, not a place to stay, but compassion. The bible said they didn’t say anything to him; they just stayed with him for 7 days, saying nothing!

Sometimes your friend doesn’t want to hear how to fix it or what went wrong, all they want is to know you are there.

Just recently my brother called me with a problem he was going through, I heard through the family grape fine that he was hurting but I never called him. Finally he called me and shared the problem he was going through. It was a medical issue and he was really worried and devastated about it. No sooner did he tell me the story did I jump in and tell him what he should do, how it happened, and what he was doing wrong in dealing with it.

My brother yelled over the phone, “Chris I didn’t call you for this” I called because I just needed someone to listen! I just needed someone to say, “I’m here.”

You see, my brother didn’t want to hear how to fix it, perhaps that would have come later if I would have listened.

Key for Comfort # 3 –Be sensitive to the needs of the person

Let the first 3 things Jobs friends did serve as model for us on how to respond to someone.

After feeling that they did emphasize with him, Job started to let out his pain and frustration about how he was hurting. Job started to tell them how depressed he was, how angry at life he was, and how angry he was at God, his friends decided it was time to set him straight.

From Chapter 3 to Chapter 36 they begin to tell Job everything he did wrong. They gave him the low down on what he needed to do in order to be restored

His first friend Eliphaz basically says,

I know what you’re going through.

When you are going through something, no one other than God knows exactly how you feel. Even if someone went through the exact same thing in the past, their pain, their sorrow, will never match yours 100% why, because they are not you, their life circumstances, are not yours!

When Job protested, they began to tell him;

• He must have done something wrong to deserve this!
• He should simply fess up and admit his guilt!
• If he wanted their help he had to take responsibility for his actions!

How relevant the bible is to our life and times today! This reminds me of the parent that comes to the police station to pick up a child in the middle of the night. Without even knowing the full details, they immediately attack the child as if they know they are guilty.

Where is the benefit of the doubt, where is the trust, the support?

Key for Comfort #4-Don’t be Judgmental

The barrage continued until Job told his friends they were the worst comforters he ever saw!

How could this change from the supportive friends they were earlier? It changed because they tried to take away Jobs rights;

To be hurt-to feel loss
To be angry-at his circumstances
To be scared-about the future
To be innocent-bad things do happen to “Godly people.”
To be angry at God-for allowing it

In short they tried to take away his very right to grieve!

Hebrews; 4:15-16 states that God understands the things that we go through. He dose not expect us to be strong all the time. We are to boldly come before Him to find Grace, in our time of need! If God allows me time to grieve, shouldn’t my friends and family?

Key for Comfort #5-Allow them time to grieve.

Job friends did honestly care about him, or else they would not have come, and after doing the right things their attitude changed from supportive to judgmental, why. This was because they became frustrated because they could not make him feel better!

Sometimes we truly believe we have the power to make someone feel better and sometimes our presence, words of comfort, and support truly does help. But what Job friends didn’t understand was everyone grieves in their own way in their timing. Furthermore, some things can only be fixed by God. The acts of love we show are only seeds to reconciliation. We may not see an immediate result of that support. We must recognize that we are not God, and only He can fix a broken spirit.

Key for Comfort #6-Accept you may not be able to fix the problem.



ALTAR CALL

How can one truly know if they are able to be sensitive enough to help someone? There are some people that take counseling courses but give the worse support to people hurting ever.

One must have a relationship with the author and finisher of our faith to truly know how to love unconditionally. Then as an added bonus by simply asking the Holy Spirit, the “Counselor” will assist you with spiritual gifts to equip you to love, minister, and be sensitive to the needs of those hurting.

How can you have both?

One must first-Admit that you are a sinner. The bible says the all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There are no perfect people. You must admit that you have no claim to heaven due to your sinful nature. It’s only by Gods grace that you are able to come into His presence.

Then you must, “Believe”on the Lord Jesus Christ. The bible says that anyone that calls on the name of the Lord Jesus will be saved and will have ever lasting life.

Finally, Confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord! Tell Him that you are a sinner and that you believe that He is the Son of God that died for your sins. Ask Him to come into your heart and live in you and through you. Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart as well.

By simply doing that you have equipped yourself the best counselor that money can buy! But more importantly, you have secured your place in heaven!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Pastor Chris,